So when the guitar landed on my doorstep last December, I went through the same process I had already gone through twice: Play songs using the A, E, D, C and G open cords until I got bored, stumble through others using barre chords until I get frustrated, and attempt to follow various lesson sites somewhat randomly until the guitar ends up in a closet and I'm on to something else. I got theguitar in December, and by late January I had given up...again.

Then in March I came across a 'simple' music theory book at the library - short chapters and lots of illustrations - and checked it out on a whim. For me, it was nothing short of a revelation. Middle C was between the Bass and Treble cleff? Chords are composed of the 1st, 3rd and 5th degrees of any given scale? The minor scale is actually a different 'mode' that uses the major scale pattern beginning at a different location? It probaby sounds nuts, but I was fascinated. (And p*ssed at my 7th grade music teacher for never teaching me this stuff!) I'm analytical by nature, and I suddenly felt like I had the rosetta stone to this whole mysterious language of music and it all made sense.

And in understanding the basics of the 'language', I had this new sense that  the only thing that stood between me and being able to play all of the riffs in 'Sultans of Swing' was a boatload of practice. The guitar wasn't mysterious anymore. Or the piano. Or the oboe. Or the mountain dulcimer.

The guitar came out of the closet, and I've been playing daily since early April. Sometimes as much as 3 hours a day. I know why the chords are arranged the way they are. I can work out my own fingerings. I can transpose songs into different keys. I can work out scales. Incredible! (This probably sounds really lame, but I really was blown away!)

So now that I know the 'language', I've settled on working through the core lessons here to build a foundation. I'm taking each lesson slowly in 3-week increments, as it usually takes that long to build up the 'muscle memory' that makes movements second nature. I'm in no rush - it's not like I'm going to fulfill any rock star dreams at this age. If I can improvise a respectible blues solo by 60, I'll be happy.

For now, though, my goal is to get just good enough that I won't embarress myself 'test-driving' an upgrade for the Kay at the local guitar store.

(btw - Is there really that big a difference between the Squire and Kay that I've played and the more expensive stuff? Can I just swap out the pickups on the Kay to get the same effect?)

I turned 40 last year, and the most interesting gift I got was a second-hand Kay "Star*ter" stratocaster knock-off left on my doorstep by some friends. My wife and I were already in bed when they rang the doorbell and sped off, and she started laughing as soon as we heard it.

"Who was that?" I asked.

"Go look," she responded, with equalparts amusement and resignation.

I had been casually mentioning that I wanted to take up the guitar to various people over the last year, and one of the couples we hang out with took me seriously. "Put up or shut up," they were saying. And "happy birthday." (They had checked with my wife beforehand to make sure they wouldn't cause a divorce.)

For my long suffering wife, this potential hobby was joining a very crowded field: British cars, windsor chair building, woodworking, gardening, writing. I wasn't around as it was, and now I'd be abusing her with tortured chords and scales when I was. For better or worse, indeed.

It had been less than 4 years since I gave away my Squire strat (purchased on my 36th) after convincing myself I was hopeless. And 10 years since I'd sold my Applause shallow-bodied acoustic for the same reason. No doubt she already had the e-Bay ad prepared.

But something seems to be different this time. 8 months on and I'm still practicing nightly. And still encouraged. And enjoying it! I've been trying to learn to play an instrument since grade school - will this third time with the guitar be the charm? I'll keep you posted...